the (almost) daily blah

vision retreat was last weekend. and i ABSOLUTELY am smitten with the team this year. JUST SMITTEN!  well, there’s always like that ONE person i can’t stand. and the funny thing is, i can already see myself being put in a room with her. haha. LESSON LEARNED. but like at the beginning of the year, i really had no idea that i would LOVEEEEE this team so much. i came back kind of at an awkward time. i’m older but have the same number of tours as them under my belt. so i’m not like a designated leader, but i feel like i do carry some weight. so i totally expected to have it like “get in get out” in terms of my associations with the girls. but i never expected to really learn to love them. and i actually want to hang out and really get to know them. i dont know if i mentioned this, but we usually spend a lot of time praying for each other after practices. i truly treasure those times. and the COOL thing is, they’re not all arrogant pubescent teenagers!! well, most of them arent. but STILL. i was super impressed with their maturity and all. God lesson for today: don’t judge! sometimes it feels like you’re going to be friends and pals with people for a long time. i think this is one of those instances :))))))) well i was thinking. so since i love MOST of the team so much. i guess i need to love her too? caaaause love is patient love is kind. well now i’m thinking about it. and its actually pretty funny. i mean, God has to deal with me EVERY SINGLE day. like my icky, arrogant, poopy self and yet He stills loves me. cause love is patient love is kind. goal for this summer, name three good things about this girl. and MAYBE, just MAYBE learn to love her.

we focused on the idea of worship and jonah story over the weekend. so here’s my throw up style thoughts and what i got out of it. jonah is actually a silly fool like myself. this silly goose prayed for DAMNATION over a people he was supposed to save. and got angry at God from saving them from destruction. if that’s not silly, what is? he also didn’t even want to go to where God explicitly called him to go. but God STILL used him to save a WHOLE FREAKING city of people. a city of people that were immoral and were known for skinning people alive. God still used jonah despite his faults and just simply reluctance. i think that’s just WILD. cause i’m like that. and the idea of a God that loves me so much that is still willing to use me to further His kingdom despite my poor attitude.

second throw up. God demands our worship. well not like those buddhist gods that DEMAND it, like if you dont pai pai or kow tow, you DIE. no not like that. but our God just revels in our worship. someone once said, that God has angels singing over Him 24/7. which is just amazing. its like the best praise night ever FOREVER AND EVER. and angels probably sound REALLY good with their harps and lutes or whatever they play up there. but even will grade A musicians singing over Him everyday. He still wants our worship. first off, having multitudes sing over something, let alone GOD, for essentially forever, wouldn’t that be enough? and second off, the angels, probably sound so much better than us. we think our tight harmonies are so good, i think not! haha. but this personal God still wants worship from me. and wants to hear me say how much i love Him. AUGH. so frustratingly amazing.

this tour is going to be interesting. so much has happened to me in the last year or so. so many lessons learned the hard way. i feel like i’m learning them to prep for something. could this be it? i’m thinking yes. how exciting, yet scary. but at least i’ll have my OH SO WONDERFUL vision girlies to support me along the way. i love you guys more than you’ll ever know. :)))))