greatest attitude is gratitude: a thanksgiving shoutout
Posted by: j9 sy on: November 27, 2009
man, i don’t know if its the post thanksgiving diarrhea kicking in or, the tiredness, or the turkey. but i have so many blessings to be thankful for!!! God has really done so much for my life some teeny tiny blog post wouldn’t do crap to give glory to Him. it’s so hard to say there is no god when you look at my life. there are just waaaaaaaaaay too many blessings to deny that God is good, and all the time He is good. this year has been, by far, one of the most difficult years to give thanks in all circumstances, but by His grace. i think i made it :)one of the biggest and by the far one of the most important blessings God has giving me in my life. is the people involved with it. like i told a friend a few …weeks ago, i love people. people give me pain, but the joys by far out number the burdens. :)))) if i miss out a name or two…so sorry. i’m thinking its the bowel movement kicking in ;)
i would like to thank all the kims in my life. from grace soyeon kim to the audrey kim and family, if you fall in the category, you guys just have been on HUGE korean blessing to me. and i really thank God that i have you guys to aid in my immersion into the korean culture and in my walk in the faith not to mention all y’alls are sistas from anotha mista :) big shoutout to the yehs, thank you kiddies for keeping me busy and driving me around. have no fear this madness will not last long because i WILL get my license ASAP, and then it’ll be me driving you guys around. but again, no words can express how much i cherish and love hanging out with you guys. here’s one to abednego and meshach…AKA shaina and jen, i know i’ve been less than pleasant to be around lately, but i love you guys to death!!! and thank you so much for sticking by me in the midst of all my unpleasantness. always for the faith and to the flames :) CHIOYS and CHENGS two of my most FAVORITE families to hang out with. i think i’ve had fourth of july bbqs and thanksgiving/christmas dinners with you guys the most and i seriously cherish every single meal i have with you two families. amanda and cynthia, you guys are like the twin towers…but never will fall. both your heights give me a sense of security and your friendships have meant so much to me through the years. from tennis to showering with me, i think you guys have seen it all. CZ your body was never ever ever the same after you met me. i love how i can depend on you and call you in 3 in the morning for prayer and encouragement. you can’t do that with many friends, but with you i know i can. i also know i can tell you anything and that you won’t love me any less. you’re a keeper ;) jenn tam, girl thanks for being my rock and giving me a good kick in the ass when i need it. amelia and gabby, my gangstas we so bucc i just HAD to give you guys a lil some some. gua eh lee brudders, gua talaga ya tia din!!!!! yin wee din nung eh ya kuai kuai. and gua ya thankful because din ho gua cho lai (house) when gua tio evacuate and din mas see ho gua tit toe call of duty and beatles rockband!!! ok i give up this chinese nonsense, but i am looking forward to new year’s party already!! big maganda, you know who you are!!! tanks por being a great priend. tanks por letting me cry in your nice car and tanks por going to da beach wit me. i laaaaaab you so much and sometimes i wish we can hang. no nursing, just me you and manny. :))) my vision babies, i have enjoyed growing up with you brothers/sisters in Christ SO FAR, and tour’s going to be so bomb!!!!! JESSICA LIN, you and your graceful horsetailness!!! mraz was just awesome possum and i can’t help but feeling encouraged with i see you worship. YBOOKIES: through the good time and the bad, we make it work and i’m so thankful for you all.
whew i think that’s. i seriously have all y’all to be thankful for and i loveeeeee all you fellas sooo soo soo soo soo soo much, and sorry if i forgot anyone.
i really tried to boil this year into three things i’m thankful for. it was difficult, but i think i now have my bases covered :)
top three things i’m thankful for: God’s faithfulness, love, and grace.
a little more love
Posted by: j9 sy on: November 24, 2009
my FAVORITE cover of “use somebody” i think it beats out the paramore one. :)
why is it that when i get closer to people, i find myself drawing away? its so freaking annoying. its like the more i see past the surface of people, the more i am turned away. the more i see how people really are, the more i dislike them. which is completely stupid and ironic, cause i’m so freaking human and so full of crap myself. heck, Jesus was perfect in every way, saw all the crap people did, and yet He still loved them. i’m no where near as perfect as Jesus and never will be. which gives me all the more reason to be understanding and to extend grace. but yet i can’t do that. oh the life/God lessons to be learned here. i almost dislike myself for being like that. pulling away from people who are essentially like me. but i guess those are the people you call friends. you pull away from them, and they still want you back.
all that’s well ends well
Posted by: j9 sy on: November 19, 2009
i am so glad this week is over. up and down and up and down times like 283746873. there was this time i prayed for wisdom and got it. :))))))) paintballing tomorrow!! wheeeee
setting in
Posted by: j9 sy on: November 18, 2009
My whole life I place in Your hands God of mercy humbled I bow down In Your presence at Your throne In my life be lifted high In our world be lifted high In our love be lifted high
i never really understood what those words meant. in all the time i have sung them, i never understood them until now. during my crazy run last night, i had so much time to think through things i guess. this song was playing and as i ran, i guess i kind of heard the lyrics for the first time. when i think about it now, i guess i never really “heard” the lyrics because i’ve never really applied the song. but now when situations like yb, tennis (or lack of it), and sat things, and the whole deal with vision i kind of understand things now. now when i hear these words said or sung, it just touches me deeply. cause i really don’t know where i’ll be a year from today. and i really don’t know what’s going to happen even 3 months from today. it’s this tiny thing called faith and trust.
gee, i wonder what lesson i’m learning here.
monkeys running around
Posted by: j9 sy on: November 17, 2009
i ran 5 miles. it took me an hour though, but it took me 3 miles to clear my mind. now isn’t that crazy? like i listened to worship music so i don’t feel like my time has gone to waste running around in circles…LITERALLY. but it’s kind of crazy how it took me 3 miles to get all those monkeys out of my head. all the stress and all the crap just disappears after the 4 mile. then at the 5 mile it’s just like me and God with no distractions. it still blows my mind how long it took. so crazy. if only i prayed with that much concentration all the time.
this was so pointless. and i don’t even feel my body anymore. but it’s kind of nice how clear my mind is and how that hour didn’t go to waste cause i kind of did my quiet time. :)
forever and always
Posted by: j9 sy on: November 13, 2009
AUUUUGH MY LIFE. it’s like someone pushed fast forward. everything is just speeding around me. i’m meeting all sorts of people, getting to know all sorts of people, and just learning so much. life isn’t exactly peachy, or stinky, its just everything happening so fast. even though i tend to go 500% at 3o4873o miles per hour, i just wish i could press pause and process.
i have soooooooo much to say. first off, i’ve been thinking about things. like…just STUFF. i’ve been seeing so many things of….beauty lately. it sounds so weird. but like there’s just some situations, relationships, even the rain. some things can’t be described with any other word. but just as being “beautiful”. then like i started thinking about what beauty is, why certain things are beautiful to others and not to most. there are just situations where when you’re stuck in the middle its so ugly. its like crap coming at you fast at 45983 miles per hour. but like from someone standing on the outside. there’s just no other word to describe it, but beautiful. kind of like….A WAAAAVE!!!!! like an ocean wave. if you’re smack dab standing in the surf, it sucks. the wave knocks you down and you get all muddy. but like if you’re on the shore and just hearing, watching, feeling the waves its just so nice to such an extent. beauty is such a delicate thing. delicate and subjective. i just wish people wouldn’t use that word so much. it kind of subtracts the value from it. then i guess that’s when i should take up greek or hebrew so i can really understand the depth of words.well i guess thats why i like photography so much, its captures that beauty sometimes.
psalms 23:6
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and i will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.i’ve been kind of thinking about that line so much lately. someone told me recently that goodness and love is evident in the people that love God and all that jazz. and i kind of realize, i would like that. i want to live a life so full that goodness and love are visible to people. the g&l showing would just be another testimony to Him in my life.
wow. that was like a freaking essay.
whatthepoop
Posted by: j9 sy on: November 6, 2009
i have been kind of up and down lately. i really don’t know why i am blogging since i have nothing significant to saaaaaay. i am just so mad and so frustrated and so just BAAAAAAH this week. but i had a good week though, somehow.
i had a really lovely october. my bday, mraz, then halloweeeeen. this month was a month of a whole lot of loving. which was nice :)
i realized i’m most stressed at home. i don’t think that’s healthy.
as the world opens up
Posted by: j9 sy on: October 23, 2009
i feel like the world is opening up. i don’t know how else to describe it. like those scenes, in movies where the heroine goes outside and the camera pans all around her. around the area then into the starry sky. its like that…kind of. now its like God takes me outside, brings a star down and says “here its for you.” it’s like the world is really opening up and i’m seeing everything for the first time. the world was so black for such a long time. i didn’t make this and that. and it was like God took those things away from me. to get my priorities straight for me to see what really mattered. but it felt like God took away one of my greatest joys. and the world was just so black and so dark. those moments of joy and light in my day weren’t there anymore. i had what i had going well taken away from me, because those things brought me joy, but they had no eternal value. then fast forward through a few months, past the days i didn’t want to get out of bed, past the times i just wanted to cry, to beat, and to scream at God. why? why that? why this? what me? why now? but now thinking about it in retrospect, in those black nights, God was there. and now i feel like i’ve come the full circle.
God is truly faithful to those that love Him. after He completely decimated the carefully pieced image and agenda i built for myself,i felt like i truly had nothing left. the agenda i built up for myself piece by painstaking piece was all gone. it was one of those “oh what the hell” moments. where i realized i had nowhere to pour my efforts, my energy, my love into. there was only one thing left and that was God. so there were so many tiny steps. tiny steps of faith i took that really lead me outside. things are just so good, yet strange now. there were so many things i said in faith to people i never expected to say those things to, and now its like my relationships are at this strange new level. steps of completely disregarding what the world tells me to do to be successful. its so difficult to disregard things that set you up for your future, but to bear in faith knowing that God has your back if you do what He wills. i disregarded those things to do what i truly love and what God wants me to do. honestly, its so exciting, it gives life color. not knowing what’s coming up next or where i may end up in another year or so. with that, new opportunities have opened up to me i would never have thought available. its truly remarkable, i never thought i would be able to do what i love again, but those stars have come in sight. only because God had to take away them for a time, just so He could bring them back down Himself just for me. and oh what a starry night it is.
i realize blogging is talking to yourself, and have the world watch.
in the end
Posted by: j9 sy on: October 6, 2009
these days haven’t been good AT ALL. my camera breaks and i get my FIRST EVER D in a class. but i still find so many little “joys” in my day. it’s remarkable really. these moments of laughter and just those happy moments last less than a minute. or even less than a second really make my day. it’s like God saying not to take life too seriously. its just…wonderfullllllll. i really try to name three good things for every bad thing i complain about. sometimes it’s just “well my parents still love me” or “God still loves me” . which really in the end is what really counts. and it totally makes all those little specks of badness go away when i really see the “bigger picture”. which really only testifies to God’s changing in me. i still get like PISSED, but i don’t dwell on it so much. so i guess the bible is valid after all. don’t let the sun go down when you’re angry cause it leaves the devil a foothold. i can say THAT most definitely is true. i’m not so angry anymore. in fact, i’m kind of happy.
that was so pointless. but i’m so happy. people and God things make me so happy. sleep makes me happy. so goodnight.
avoiding the “h” word
Posted by: j9 sy on: October 4, 2009
in:
God bday things CRAIG OWENS hugsout:
english hw, otherwise not much else :)
