emotional outlet
Posted by: j9 sy on: July 9, 2009
i just realized. i don’t have one of those!!! well, maybe “emotional outlet” is a rather…broad term. i just realized that i don’t have a means of expressing myself!!! GASP. and i do have so many feelings and well, expressions too. i can’t sing and play an instrument (at the same time) well enough to go all aj rafael on people. and i don’t dance. but i can take pictures!! haha. or i think i can at least. i really really regret not picking up dance when i was little. dance meaning lyrical, jazz, or contemp. i really think i have been watching too much sytycd. haha. with that here’s my favorite routine of last night. its was so twisted and skewed, it became beautiful. props to mia michaels once again for such amazing choreography!!!
vision left…yesterday
Posted by: j9 sy on: July 1, 2009
i had something like super duper significant to write, but the thing is, i forgot what it was!!! just shows how significant it was. haha. ok so vision left yesterday and like i was feeling super nostalgic and i read my journal from serbia. there was this bottle of lotion i had, sweet pea from bath and body. like i only used that lotion during that trip. so i cracked open the pages and it smelled like sweeet peaaaa!! haha. that brought back so so so many memories. anyways, i had a fun filled night reading, reminiscing, and at a lot of times cringing. haha. it was only a year ago, but my outlooks and thoughts on things have changed so much. i miss those days 
) no elite, no tennis, and no summer school. just me, a bunch of pals, and chipsy.
buck up
Posted by: j9 sy on: June 5, 2009
i really hate it when people tell me to “get over ” something. not even “i am so sorry for you”. but “get over it cause you’re being dramatic and stupid about it”. or even with just that attitude and tone of voice that suggests that i’m being overly dramatic. i know i’m capable of being that way and doing that, but most of the time, it’s genuine. i really hate that. so please don’t ever do that to anyone. maybe they DO need to get over it. but until you truly understand the grief the person is going through, shut it.
joy where?
Posted by: j9 sy on: June 5, 2009
i wish i wouldn’t look things so much in circumstance but to look forward instead.
yum yum daniel craig!!!
Posted by: j9 sy on: June 1, 2009
- In: randumb
- 2 Comments
OMG someone PLEASE get me some of these for my bday. or anytime i will love you FOREVER.
update…sort of
Posted by: j9 sy on: May 31, 2009
i absolutely LOVE IT when guys dedicate songs to girl they know in a subtle way. i just melt on the insde EVERY SINGLE time, then i end up like a squishy puddle on the ground. so please, write and dedicate a song to me.
forgiveness and kindess. i think that’s what i need right now.
goodnight goodnight
Posted by: j9 sy on: May 28, 2009
i hate being lied to. sometimes….i really don’t care about the truth whatever it is. as long as it is the truth. then when i am lied to, and i find out. not like “YES!! i found out!!” but even by accident i really wonder how much of what they say is true. then that really causes me to wonder how much our friendship means. not even like friendship as in the i am going to cry on your shoulder friendship. but like friendship bordering as acquaintances. and it also makes me wonder and seems like they don’t trust me enough to handle the truth. even if it’s not that big of a deal. details make up the whole. and the detail of telling the truth, that’s a pretty big thing to miss out on. keep me out of things, but don’t lie to my face.
i hope you’re happy in the end. i hope you’re happy my friends.
tires need realignment
Posted by: j9 sy on: May 11, 2009
i feel like i need to realign myself with God. like i’ll be drifting and drifting, and what’s good is that i see it these days. i see that i need to realign myself with whom really matters. God mainly. and now i see it i need to do it! duuuuh. and i also to check my motives of why i do things and what i wish to accomplish by doing them. self glorification? to feed my pride? or do i genuinely want to serve the LORD at what i do best? oh boy, i think i should really hone in on that this week.
but the funny thing is it’s ok
Posted by: j9 sy on: May 7, 2009
i’ve started to care about people. to genuinely care about what kind of home they go home. to genuinely care about how they are. now isn’t that funny?
love is patient, love is kind
Posted by: j9 sy on: May 4, 2009
i had like the crappiest day today. and my away status said “had one hell of a day today. don’t talk to me unless you have good news”. and like out of nowhere a friend ims me this:
[19:41] kay sez HI: the good news is that: no matter what a shitty day you’ve had, at the end of the day, the people that care about you and love you are always there for you, even though they might not be in a good mood as well. but the matter of fact is, they still love you.
[19:41] kay sez HI: i love you jay nine. 
[19:43] kay sez HI: its okay. i’ve had pretty shitty days. but like. its kinda embarrasing, but like my dog walks in and looks at me all smiling
[19:43] j9s heeere: 
[19:43] kay sez HI: its like “omg how could i feel bad when there’s this dog that’s wagging its tale at me saying ‘play with meee!~’”
WOW. that definitely put so much in perspective for me. it’s kind of funny how certain things said at the right time just get to you. and that really got to me. it hit me in such a way that i just had to sit at my comp screen and stare. cause it was out of nowhere and really what i needed to hear. thanks bub, you know who you are <33333 and that bit on the dog, it’s like why am i so down and so BLAAAAH when life still runs on. whatever happens has happened so be it, there’s so much more waiting for me. maybe not a dog wanting to play with me, but similarly good things still wait. i had to read 1 corinthians 13 again. i really don’t know why. but it helped
